Mr. Winkle, submitted by forum goon.It's time to visit an old friend of the terrible interweb. While I'm a self-admitted animal lover that owns a sassy pig and a variety of cockroaches, I feel no special love for the famous Mr. Winkle. In fact, I think it's a horrible abomination of nature that was probably forged by an evil wizard to win the hearts of goofy housewives and then corrupt their soul. Well, I'm not falling for your ruse, Mr. Winkle!Mr. Winkle will never know how close it came to being devoured whole.
Not only is this little beast the spawn of hellfire, but the site itself uses terribly bright colors that will burn your eyes, and includes a flash version that takes hours for the little pooch of purgatory to show up. Thanks to help from the big guy below, Mr. Winkles has landed top notch gigs on the Today Show, Sex in the City, and signing "pawtagraphs" at nationwide Borders bookstores. Why is it making appearances at bookstores you may ask? That's because this horrible hound has a book published. There's just something intrinsically wrong about dog publishing a book. Next thing you know it'll run for Congress and start its eventual climb to total power, and the enslavement of the human race. Mr. Winkles is truly on top of the world...for now. But the day that Winkles falls from glory, I will be there, laughing at its misfortune and disgrace. We can only hope for the future of our children that day will come soon.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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