Iced Out Gear, submitted by Echogecko. Yo! Werd up! Check out da fly homiez in dis piece, wizzerd! I'm gonna take my "gat" and use it to bust a "cat" in your "ast!" Okay, I'm sorry, I can't keep writing like that or else the National Coalition of White People's Pride will put a price on my head and demand I take my own life in exchange for keeping a shred of dignity, which I never even had to begin with. I may be too pasty white and unhip to appreciate the luxury of "pimp wear," but there are apparently various cretins across the globe who do not share my opinion. This explains why the show "Homeboys In Outer Space" was given the greenlight by the various marketing gurus at UPN. If these ruff rydahs weren't so well armed with automatic weapons and gold teeth which reflect beams of light from the sun that are so intense they can burn holes through my corneas, I'd probably enjoy making fun of them more often.
Icedoutgear's mission: To make you look like a million bucks without having to spend thousands of dollars.
It all started 3 years ago in a part of Los Angeles called San Fernando Valley, when 4 young hip hop fans were trying to find a legit place to get some hip hop clothing and jewelry to sport when going out. They didn't have two hundred thousand dollars to spend on a bracelet or watch, but still wanted to look sharp. No matter how hard they looked they couldn't find a place that had low prices, bomb customer service and quick shipping.
It's always been my goal in life to buy crappy, cheap, ugly jewelry without having to spend a fortune on it. With Iced Out Gear, that vision is becoming a reality. Well, to be more precise, the vision of me drowning in the ocean from the 490 pounds of authentic fake silver chains around my neck which feature either the Superman symbol or a giant dollar sign. And yes, before you ask, that is indeed a "Pimp Cup."
This here is da original pimp cups that's used by the veteran pimps who've been in the game for a while. You can see why only a true pimp can floss this bling bling cup. You get diamond trim on the top and bottom of the cup as well as multi-color faux gem stones and of course up to 5 letters of whatever you want! Your choice of Gold or Platinum Style cup. These cups are made of plastic and are not for drinking out of them. Please write what you want your cup to say in the comments section when you check out.Please note that, because pimp cups are custom made they take an extra 7 business days to make.
Yes, a "Pimp Cup." Think about that for a bit. What does pimping have to do with cups? Why would you use a cup to declare you're a pimp? Are there pimp boat races which award Pimp Cups to each other? What do you put in a pimp cup? Pimp Rock Candy? These are just a few of the many questions which may never be answered in our lifetime, and I'm not going to necessarily claim this is a bad thing.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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