Alrig Fantasy Art Gallery

Alrig Fantasy Art Gallery, submitted by Secretary of Stupidity. I don't know much about art - I'm a transportation person - but what the hell is this stuff? Proclaiming itself "The Future of Graphic Artistry," this site looks more like a geometry teacher's idea of sex with two girls at the same time. Graphic artistry must be dying of cancer and bound and gagged in somebody's basement if this counts as its future. It's been a long time since I've had an art class, but whatever happened to the rule of thirds? Do these young "artists" know how not to center everything in their pictures? You know what I like? Those old Burma Shave ads. Man, driving down the roads used to be fun when those were around. Now its all geometric shapes and shiny lights and computer paintings and crap like that. If art is anything like transportation, its future depends on a strong and solid infrastructure, carefully designed rules and regulations, and laws for the public good. You see, people aren't smart enough to wear seatbelts on their own, so we make it illegal for them not to. Some people aren't good at art, so we should make it illegal for them to attempt art in any form. It's that simple. We'd save a lot of time and make everything better for everyone. Otherwise it's only a matter of time before I get in my car and drive right into an art museum. Let's see them stop the Secretary of Transportation from tearing down the arts!

– Norman Y. Mineta (@Livestock)