First up: an exciting list of ways to die courtesy of "rachael-chael." There are some hilarious jokes thrown in this post as well, but the biggest joke is the fact that you know these people spend hours each day contemplating their own suicide but never have the guts to actually go through with it.
If you see somebody with a "SKIT" tattoo PLEASE RUN AWAY FROM THEM AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND NOTIFY THE AUTHORITIES! They are deadly and will write poetry about you!
"GianAshtorath" enjoys the thought of killing herself / himself / itself, but is obviously too incompetent to get the job done. Slit up, not across, you imbecile!
This poor girl is going to kill herself... ON THE INTERNET! I wonder if her tombstone will have a couple of those rotating skull animated gifs chiseled next to it.
Ever wondered what the motivation is behind people who wear capes in the mall? Well wonder no longer, folks!
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
gee, sun, thanks for life and warmth and light. you totally did it on purpose and aren't just a stupid exploding deathtrap
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