First up: an exciting list of ways to die courtesy of "rachael-chael." There are some hilarious jokes thrown in this post as well, but the biggest joke is the fact that you know these people spend hours each day contemplating their own suicide but never have the guts to actually go through with it.
If you see somebody with a "SKIT" tattoo PLEASE RUN AWAY FROM THEM AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND NOTIFY THE AUTHORITIES! They are deadly and will write poetry about you!
"GianAshtorath" enjoys the thought of killing herself / himself / itself, but is obviously too incompetent to get the job done. Slit up, not across, you imbecile!
This poor girl is going to kill herself... ON THE INTERNET! I wonder if her tombstone will have a couple of those rotating skull animated gifs chiseled next to it.
Ever wondered what the motivation is behind people who wear capes in the mall? Well wonder no longer, folks!
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
This is where the excerpt from an article usually goes. Since the content of this update is only intended for cool people, I refuse to place a single word in the path of blundering normal people.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.