First up: an exciting list of ways to die courtesy of "rachael-chael." There are some hilarious jokes thrown in this post as well, but the biggest joke is the fact that you know these people spend hours each day contemplating their own suicide but never have the guts to actually go through with it.
If you see somebody with a "SKIT" tattoo PLEASE RUN AWAY FROM THEM AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND NOTIFY THE AUTHORITIES! They are deadly and will write poetry about you!
"GianAshtorath" enjoys the thought of killing herself / himself / itself, but is obviously too incompetent to get the job done. Slit up, not across, you imbecile!
This poor girl is going to kill herself... ON THE INTERNET! I wonder if her tombstone will have a couple of those rotating skull animated gifs chiseled next to it.
Ever wondered what the motivation is behind people who wear capes in the mall? Well wonder no longer, folks!
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
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