First up: an exciting list of ways to die courtesy of "rachael-chael." There are some hilarious jokes thrown in this post as well, but the biggest joke is the fact that you know these people spend hours each day contemplating their own suicide but never have the guts to actually go through with it.
If you see somebody with a "SKIT" tattoo PLEASE RUN AWAY FROM THEM AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND NOTIFY THE AUTHORITIES! They are deadly and will write poetry about you!
"GianAshtorath" enjoys the thought of killing herself / himself / itself, but is obviously too incompetent to get the job done. Slit up, not across, you imbecile!
This poor girl is going to kill herself... ON THE INTERNET! I wonder if her tombstone will have a couple of those rotating skull animated gifs chiseled next to it.
Ever wondered what the motivation is behind people who wear capes in the mall? Well wonder no longer, folks!
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
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