Celebrity Skin of the Moment, submitted by DarthVersace. Like most normal, well-adjusted pornography fiends, when I see a website titled with the phrase "celebrity skin," I instantly clam up with delight over the prospect of page after page of doctored nude celebrity shots. Dr. Vail Reese of San Francisco has another idea about the meaning of "celebrity skin." Here's a hint: he's a dermatologist. That's right, this is a massive website devoted to celebrity skin conditions. And they say California people are superficial. Here's an excerpt from his latest entry, devoted to the new Harry Potter movie.
Welcome, muggles, to the tome that won't be an Amazon.com best seller. Why not? Because "The Hogwarts Textbook of Dermatology" is a non-profit spoof, that's why! The little-known fact is that all wizards are trained in the finer points of supernatural skin care. Potions and spells to create or correct problem pores are core curriculum for Hogwarts horde. Doubt us? The school is named Hog-Warts, isn't it? Let us share with you a discreet view of dermatology, Potter-style...
When a website called "Celebrity Skin" features a section on Elisha Cuthbert, it's enough to make the Dalai Lama sit up and beg. Sadly, Dr. Reese has gone to great lengths to ruin one of the world's most attractive women.
Few would suggest that actress Elisha Cuthbert is not a stunner.
Yet beyond her exquisite features lurks...
...A dark side: acne.
I'm sorry, that's not acne. THIS is acne:
Note the difference. Gorgeous and flawless.... hideously scarred. It's a subtle distinction, but believe me, Dr. Reese, it's there. Bastard.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.