PeteRose.com, submitted by Me. If you get caught doing something you weren't supposed to, here's what Pete Rose would advise you to do:
1) Deny everything.
2) Even against overwhelming evidence, continue to deny you did anything wrong. Blame others. Anyone and everyone. Do not take any responsibility.
3) Repeat for a decade or so.
4) When you are partially forgiven and given the perfect opportunity to apologize for your mistakes, don't do it! Continue to lie.
5) When it becomes abundantly clear that your brilliant strategy of lying for a very long time isn't really working out and even your most stalwart supporters are starting to lose faith in you, admit guilt, but do so in a way in which you can profit! Write a tell-all book with a "oh woe is me" title like My Prison Without Bars and sell autographed copies of it via your website for $90.
6) Flip on ESPN and watch a horrible ESPN Original Motion Picture about your life, cringe.
So head on over to PeteRose.com and buy a copy of My Prison Without Bars today because Pete Rose deserves your money, respect, and adoration. Sure, he's a lying sack of scumbag garbage, but he's a lying sack of scumbag garbage who always ran hard when he hit a routine ground ball! Charlie Hustle!
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.