The rudest, rowdiest crew of bros are about to wreck everything...on the table! The Wreckn Crew is a competitive, amateur, bible-literalist team of power eaters. These dudes take on food you can only dream of beating in your little wussy bed. Pizza? As if! Maybe for a snack for their baby. Wreckn Crew will destroy any food on the plate and then eat the plate. Food doesn't stand a chance. Believe that!
Guess what? Wreckn Crew is on the road and we might be coming to your town. If you wanna see five bad bros killing megacarbs then check out our Wreckn Crew Spring tour dates, but before you find us, make sure your guts are tough enough to handle this!!!!
Wreckn Crew celebrates the life of fallen member Butch, who sadly passed from Wreckn Crew related complications on the afternoon of April 24th. Butch was survived by a massive wife and several hungry children ready and eager to conquer some artichoke dip troughs. To raise money we will be attempting to brutalize upwards of 30 fajita platters at the Red Bank Chili's. If you want to sponsor a plate please email Dutch, if you dare!
Dutch, Hutch, and Mitch will be in the parking lot outside the Hilldale Sam's Club to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in style: by grabbing those spoons and tearing into a full gallon each of mayonnaise. That mayo doesn't stand a chance! After they have crushed that bulk condiment Mitch will lead a prayer service dedicated to the Luke 6:30 concept of giving whatsoever is asked and asking nothing in return.
The whole gang will be appearing a the Beverly Dunkin' Donuts to raise awareness of the plight of Sudan's people by daring 'nut dozens, popping powdery 'kins, and guzzling the new caramelcochino express frozen coffee shake. Free milk chuggers and eclairs for everyone who signs our petition to end hunger around the world.
Explore the literal reality of Genesis with Mitch at the Red Bank Pizza Hut Express & A&W Rootbeer combo store. Mitch will risk gutdeath to bring you the ultimate in P'zone termination and the truth of God's majesty in creating heaven and earth in only six days. Plus, fried cheese and lobster bites get banished to digestive hell by Dutch, attempting to break a personal best with all A&W menu items.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
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