Barry Bonds' LiveJournal, submitted by me. Well, it's not quite a LiveJournal, but it's close enough. Here's a snip:

I would love to have a good relationship with the media. I would love to let the reporters have what they want. But every time I've taken two steps forward, they've taken two steps backward. Every time I try to give them what they want, there's something else they're trying to find or make me say that's negative.

I'm a human being. I'm not perfect. I'm not going to be perfect.

But don't just jump on me every chance you get, because I don't satisfy your need at the moment. That's not fair to me as a person.


Of course, this journal entry was heavily edited by a PR person before it was posted to the web, here's what Barry originally wrote:

the media can cram a stick up their asses and salute their shorts 2 the moon 4 I care I'm barry bonds and i hit home runs. they cant hit home runs all they can do is get on my case and try to talk 2 me i mean wtf. if i try to b nice 2 them and not spit in their face they ask me more questions this is bullshit i bet these reporters dont even pay their misteresses like i do jeezus

the media always wants a piece of me because they are all gay. they always try 2 tear down my towel and sneek a peek at "mr. .800" those gays why are they so gay intervies is gay i hate press conferences i hit home runs they should try to hit a home run instead of being gay with each other in the on deck circle i hit home runs

Barry Bonds is quite possibly the most unlikable baseball player since Ty Cobb, but if you're looking to feel sorry for a guy who makes $18 million a year, head right on over.

– Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.