Dreams Of The Great Earth Changes, submitted by me. Once you make your way past the anti-Bush quotes which seem to come standard at the top of every web site centered around politics, proper dental care, BitTorrent trackers, sports teams or pro-Bush sentiments, you are left with a pretty normal website. Assuming, of course, that your definition of normal is "a mile long laundry list of crazy ramblings about crop circles and healing crystals with an archive of the webmaster's dreams which dates back to the 1980s".

Then there's a special Christmas story which manages to outweird the Christmas story in today's update by quite a wide margin. It's about a glowing woman that talks to some kid about whether Santa is real and how floating lights are signals that people who don't believe in triangles are bad people. I think.

Johnny's sleep-face frowned. "I still don't get it. What does this have to do with Santa Claus?"

"Well, just recall some of your other dreams. Remember the dreams where animals and humans appeared on the porch, patio, yard, or roof of your house?"

"Yeh, I remember some of 'em."

"We were trying to inform you that your house, or other types of buildings, often represent your reality. The areas outside the house represent realities outside of your normal perceptions, like the dream and spiritual realms."

I'm still not sure what it all means, but it looks like the Talking Heads were really on to something with all those songs about buildings.

– Corin Tucker's Stalker

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.