Indigo Moms, submitted by closedingirl. Moms: are you looking to give meaning to the rancid crotchling which was the result of 20 seconds of unfulfilled grinding in an Applebee’s bathroom? Then maybe your child is an Indigo Child! And even if they aren’t blessed with this status, the amount of money you spend on many of the Indigo Moms’ bullshit services will no doubt convince you they are through the power of impoverished thinking! Let’s first take a look at just what makes an Indigo child just so Indigo:
They are the “System Busters”, the “Spiritual Warriors”, here to break down all of the old traditional paradigm systems within our educational, political, religious, medical, nutritional, technological, family and all fear-based belief systems. They are the “Trail Blazers”, bringing with them Universal wisdom, Divine knowledge and a clear vision of perfection. Their mission: to help create a whole new paradigm, where we live in a world of integrity, compassion and unity.
And if describes your tasty little bundle of debt, perhaps you would be interesting in the following services like the QUANTUM PRAYER WHEEL:
The QPW is quantum physics technology that uses a computer to broadcast the healing frequencies of prayer and healing information to energetically balance you continuously, 24 / 7… A one-year subscription plan is now only $365. That is just a dollar a day! You can also customize your personal Quantum Prayer Wheel program and include your intentions for what you want to create in your life!
Wow! The closest I’ve ever come to receiving positive energy from my computer was when I got a boner while playing The Sims! But if this doesn’t interest you, perhaps you would care to hear about their certified Angelologist or one of the many other features built to play into the insecurities of lonely housewives?
PS- The best way to tell if you are an Indigo Child or not is if YOUR MOM IS A FUCKING LOONEY TOON.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
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