Consciousness.com, submitted by me. Meet Dav*d Hargrave. Yes, that's his name with the asterisk and all. He seems to know a whole l*t about the universe.
"The key to understanding Universal Azium Ascention is for you to create an azium for yourself. To do this simply stand up and spin around a few times and then stop. As you will see, an azium, like the one which continues to spin ethereally around you has some interesting properties: it seems to float, it also seems to bend light as you can see by looking out through it. It makes everything wavey. . . so it has properties of fluids, I believe it is some kind of ethereal, fluid-crystalinity.
Children call it Dizzy I call it an Azium!"
To make a long st*ry short, Dav*d likes to spin around and get dizzy to achieve a higher consciousness. If th*t weren't enough, here's a divine, universally tuned, Earthling-style photograph of the m*n himself wearing some sort of spirit bra.
"I aplolgize to you if my presentation, in any way, keeps you from understanding and benefitting from these ideas."
Apol*gy accepted, Dav*d.
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
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