I Am the Fat Girl Poem (Comments & Responses), submitted by YouTube. I am the fat girl
I kind of look like the skinny lesbian from that Patton Oswalt comedy tour
Except I swallowed an inflatable raft and mistook the inflate line for a tampon string
I'll recite my atrocious poetry on YouTube
People will compliment me and I will appreciate it
I will not realize they'd compliment anything I did because most of the population feels forced to say "good job" and "that's beautiful" to any poetry
This is so they don't look stupid (or so they think)
I'd finish this poem but I mistook my hand for a canned ham and bit it in half
That really fucking hurts
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.