I Am the Fat Girl Poem (Comments & Responses), submitted by YouTube. I am the fat girl
I kind of look like the skinny lesbian from that Patton Oswalt comedy tour
Except I swallowed an inflatable raft and mistook the inflate line for a tampon string
I'll recite my atrocious poetry on YouTube
People will compliment me and I will appreciate it
I will not realize they'd compliment anything I did because most of the population feels forced to say "good job" and "that's beautiful" to any poetry
This is so they don't look stupid (or so they think)
I'd finish this poem but I mistook my hand for a canned ham and bit it in half
That really fucking hurts
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.