I Am the Fat Girl Poem (Comments & Responses), submitted by YouTube. I am the fat girl
I kind of look like the skinny lesbian from that Patton Oswalt comedy tour
Except I swallowed an inflatable raft and mistook the inflate line for a tampon string
I'll recite my atrocious poetry on YouTube
People will compliment me and I will appreciate it
I will not realize they'd compliment anything I did because most of the population feels forced to say "good job" and "that's beautiful" to any poetry
This is so they don't look stupid (or so they think)
I'd finish this poem but I mistook my hand for a canned ham and bit it in half
That really fucking hurts
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.