Brainiac and the Cosmic St, submitted by J. Schultz. There's nothing more I can say except "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"
"Sometimes when I had to be off planet for a couple of weeks my wife, Sally, would send flowers. Sometimes synth, sometimes real but always with a card or some knick-knack that said 'I love you.' I wasn't particularly sentimental, but I always enjoyed them. The last time, it was a bouquet of a variety of different orchids. I think a few of them were natural, but all of them were beautiful. There was a mini-cube attached with a 3D of us when we were first married. I downed it into my wearable and now I've got it floating and rotating about a meter away, upper left in my default office background. It's great to just gaze out at the stars or the planet below and see it there and remember. That afternoon I left a v-mail for her, but she wouldn't see it 'till local morning anyway, so I sent the ersatz 'post-card' as well. I thought she would really like it - she had a collection from back when they were made out of paper. It was the last correspondence I was able to get out before the end of the age."
All this and more in the next exciting episode of... "GEEKS IN SPACE"!
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.