??? THe SHaDy PaTCH ???, submitted by Bob. Slimm Kady, as she refers to herself, has concocted a harrowing web experience filled to the brim with random capitalization, horrible philosophy and rap quotes. The page itself is black text on a fairly light blue background, which makes it technically readable. Much to my dismay.

Shout out to mah Peoples!

DP, YB, and DL, my sisters for life...
JPC, my little man...
stacey, jen, jason, and the rest of the shore crew...
SR MB JD AL JL MH SC RL VR TD and anyone i care about at THS...

Pictured above is Slimm Kady and the friend of hers that constantly follows her around eating all the food that comes near her, leaving poor Kady nothing to subsist on but crystal meth. Based on my experience in ghost spotting courtesy of the Art Bell show I have circled what appears to be a ghost taking a nap above their heads. The code she is typing in is obviously meant to confuse federal agents attempting to crack down on her secret life as a paranormal investigator. That's what I'm assuming at least, SINCE I CAN'T MAKE SENSE OF A FUCKING THING ON HER WEB PAGE.

Slimm Kady, here is the reply to your encoded message:

Locate Omicron thresher blue!

RN, KFC, and DDP, rival zulu suede...
EPG, raw head and bloody bones...
charlie, tango, niner, and the rest of the Masons...
SADD MADD JJ SUPER PRETZEL CTRL C CTRL V and anyone majestic cares about at the NSA...

I hope that serves you well Slimm Kady, keep fightin' the good fight!

PS - Kady has a guestbook, so feel free to send her secret messages!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.