Embassy Vending proudly claims "online since 1999." Judging by the site's aggressive ugliness, the company immediately adapted an already-five-years-outdated design and resisted all efforts to change it during the past decade, except possibly for the worse. Embassy made the letters in its logo sparkle and arranged them in a curve, so it looks like they tried to class up the home page by hanging a gold necklace on their shitty collection of graphics.
By selecting "click here for dorky animation," you breathe life into the talking Dollar Bill Changer, who says "please look over the specifications and the features of me," then makes weird chewing noises. Ziggy The Talking Clown says creepy things like "I have surprises for you." Sadly, the Notebook Paper machine is incapable of speech, so it can't answer queries such as "wide ruled or college ruled" and "who the fuck buys paper from vending machines?"
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.