Embassy Vending proudly claims "online since 1999." Judging by the site's aggressive ugliness, the company immediately adapted an already-five-years-outdated design and resisted all efforts to change it during the past decade, except possibly for the worse. Embassy made the letters in its logo sparkle and arranged them in a curve, so it looks like they tried to class up the home page by hanging a gold necklace on their shitty collection of graphics.
By selecting "click here for dorky animation," you breathe life into the talking Dollar Bill Changer, who says "please look over the specifications and the features of me," then makes weird chewing noises. Ziggy The Talking Clown says creepy things like "I have surprises for you." Sadly, the Notebook Paper machine is incapable of speech, so it can't answer queries such as "wide ruled or college ruled" and "who the fuck buys paper from vending machines?"
We've found some cool stuff in the woods. Now it's time for you to pinkie swear you won't tell mom and dad.
There's a Brainiac. He's not THE Brainiac. However, he's one aspect of Brainiac. Or maybe there's supposed to be a different Brainiac in every universe and they're all cosmically connected, presumably via their brains. Either way, I think this particular Brainiac is the boss Brainiac.
I highly recommend Windows 10 With Mouse + Keyboard Support Edition
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.