The domain name clownmagicnyc promises terribleness, but the site delivers far more crap than expected or explicable. The home page details how you can rent Lady Liberty and Uncle Sam (on or off stilts) for whatever reason, but the real fun begins when users click on the "online brochure" and descend immediately into clown hell.
During your hours of downward scrolling, you'll encounter such horrifying characters as The Laughing Clown; Disco Barbie; Zula, Goddess of Virility; Lady of the Rainbow; Crucified Cat; and Disembodied Heart GIF. Choose from multiple "Brittany" Spears impersonators, order a Dwarf strip-o-gram (male only), or request the services of Seleka, the Toyota-sized belly dancer. These dense, ugly pages contain everything necessary to make your dreams come true, assuming that you suffer from nightmares that sap your will to live with each passing night of tortured sleep.
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.