"I was at a local arcade with a couple goon buddies, and someone had used a business card as a placeholder for a token line," NinjaJanai writes. "The business card was for this site, with the tagline 'The anthropomorphic artwork and animations of Taurin Fox.' The kid couldn't have been more than 15, and I suspect he might have been the 'artist' in question. So, a business card for commissioned gay furry porn probably drawn by someone not legally old enough to view the things he was drawing. Great."
I have an unsettling anecdote involving foxes and underage weirdoes as well. I was at a coffee shop once when a teenager pulled elf ears out of his pocket, strapped them on and started masturbating under his table. Obviously this upset the barista, who asked if I could request that he leave. I caught a glimpse of his laptop screen while averting my gaze from his wankery, and it displayed some sort of erotic fiction about an anthropomorphic female fox warrior.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this edition of Awful Teen Story of the Day. There's absolutely no need for you to actually visit taurinfox.com. No possible reason for any remotely normal person to click on pictures labeled "Three in the Stable," "Tail Fetish," and especially not "Cosmic Spoogefest." You've been warned. You've been fucking warned.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
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Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
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