FATHOTGIRL (Thanks Abraham) - YouTube has proven itself an invaluable addition to the Internet. Whenever I want to see a trailer or a music video or whatever, it never fails me. Best of all, whenever I want to see a video showcasing the hideous decline of human civilization, YouTube has me covered.
One of YouTube's best functions is its ability to let shut-ins and weirdoes document their lives. Livejournal was bad enough, but it was mostly sterile and words cannot hurt us in the same way moving images can. With YouTube you actually see these terrifying people speaking. You see them speaking and eating and picking their noses and staring at you all cross-eyed and crazy like a truck stop hitchhiker or an annoying fat girl who is either really Southern or suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome. You see horrors like YouTube user "FATHOTGIRL."
The first thing you will note is that she is indeed FAT. The second thing you will notice is that she is, under all that fat, female in nature. At no point will you notice anything resembling "hotness," and that is largely because she is large. Not Rubenesque or curvy, just plain fat. And damn proud of it. BURP.
Just view this video entitled "ME EATING AND TALKING ABOUT IT." The picture montage is quite hilarious.
"Oh, but maybe it's a glandular problem," you say to me defiantly. You're probably right, and all those videos of her eating donuts are just chocolate-coated red herrings deep-fried in the grease of society's obsession with unrealistic beauty standards. Touché, I say to you. Touché.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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