If you're like me then you have spent the past ten or so Sundays wondering why you are watching HBO's True Blood. The vampire dramedy is the latest mile marker on HBO's long highway to ruin, leaping directly past "ensemble hospital drama" and straight to Forever Knight territory.
Set in a world where vampires live in the open and drink synthetic blood from Japan, True Blood tells the story of psychic waitress Sookie Stackhouse and her vampire sometimes-boyfriend Bill.
There are a lot of reasons to hate the show, not the least of which is the relationship between Sookie and Bill. Their romance is overwrought and always on the brink of complete collapse. Which I guess makes sense if you're a psychic waitress dating a vampire.
The key to their relationship is simple: Bill says Sookie's name. A lot. And he pronounces it differently almost every time.
To celebrate their inconsistent love, I have created a tribute to SOOKIE!
May BILL AM VAMPIRE and SOOKIE love forever like two trees in love. Forever!
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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