If you're like me then you have spent the past ten or so Sundays wondering why you are watching HBO's True Blood. The vampire dramedy is the latest mile marker on HBO's long highway to ruin, leaping directly past "ensemble hospital drama" and straight to Forever Knight territory.
Set in a world where vampires live in the open and drink synthetic blood from Japan, True Blood tells the story of psychic waitress Sookie Stackhouse and her vampire sometimes-boyfriend Bill.
There are a lot of reasons to hate the show, not the least of which is the relationship between Sookie and Bill. Their romance is overwrought and always on the brink of complete collapse. Which I guess makes sense if you're a psychic waitress dating a vampire.
The key to their relationship is simple: Bill says Sookie's name. A lot. And he pronounces it differently almost every time.
To celebrate their inconsistent love, I have created a tribute to SOOKIE!
May BILL AM VAMPIRE and SOOKIE love forever like two trees in love. Forever!
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
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