Dieter the Red Shaman, also known as the Indian in the Machine, recently announced he's taking a hiatus from his site. "Financially, I can't really say that I've felt the love of the masses," he writes in his statement, noting that he has only received $285 in donations to cover the stated $24,000 living-expenses budget to which a "truth-sharer" such as himself should be entitled. Fortunately, he's only refraining from adding new content, not holding the old posts hostage until people pay him for his divinely inspired guidance. So new visitors can behold his startling photographic evidence of Lady Gaga's "Satanic worship, mind control and public manipulation," or learn about the evils of cell-phone radiation in an article whose all-caps URL address screams BRAIN-ENTRAINMENT-OVARY-DAMAGE.

These things might sound pretty scary, but Dieter isn't all gloom-and-doom: You can visit his eponymous site (soundtracked by soothing Indian in the Machine radio!), or watch a video about the Galactic Federation of Light ("humanity, there's nothing to fear"), or visit his "Ionic Footbath Blog," or read Real Science Facts about how 2012 will bring the dissolution of dark Illuminati energies and the dawn of a new golden age! If you're not going to send the guy any money -- and picture him shedding a single tear like the iconic Native American in the commercial if you don't -- you can at least leave a note in the comments section, joining such luminaries as "Human Alien" Don Ray Walton


– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

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