You never know what Internet spirits you'll conjure with a Google Image Search for "ancient Chinese soldiers." The 36 Strategems sub-page takes its name from a list of "ancient Chinese military tactics," but site mastermind Ivan illustrates these maxims not with China-related artwork, but instead with a dazzling array of haunted-house GIFs.
Plunge into a fire to pull off a robbery.
Cross the path in the dark.
Hide a sword in a smile.
Amazingly, 36 Strategems has much more to offer than incongruously animated Chinese combative gambits. The sidebar sub-pages range from "Why do Mr. Nice Guy always finish last?" to "Detecting a lie ... and jokes about modern day bitches," from "How to solve life problems" to "DEALING WITH STRESS." The only common link between Nocturnal Ivan's various areas of expertise is the use of ridiculous unrelated GIFS to accompany every bullet point.
(Illustration for the blurb "Mr. Misogyny")
("Make friends with Godly people")
("The Buddhist way of obeserving problems")
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.