Have you ever dug through a box of raisin bran to get the raisins out, and just when you start thinking they're almost all gone you dig deeper and find a bunch more? And then when those are gone you keep looking and you find more again? And this keeps going on?

If you had asked me about Weekend Web 8 months ago I would have guessed we'd be out of forums by now, but you guys somehow keep finding these things. This only furthers the theory that the Internet is just like raisin bran, except most of the raisins have been replaced with little pebbles of shit.

Ice Chewers

In my experience, people who chew ice all the time are lanky jerks with asymmetrical faces. That's unfair to say about these people but it's how I imagine them all anyway.

Give yourself black eyes repeatedly. It'll kill two birds with one stone.

"Icechujunk-e" is one of the only people who liked Batman and Robin.

It would be best for everyone if these guys moved to Antarctica.

If only there existed a detective keen enough to crack the case.

Congratulations, you are now insane.

Good luck, goofball.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.