But you may want to wait until Halloween, when pumpkins are cheap and plentiful, because at the moment it's just not economical to get fucked by a pumpkin. How do you feel about oranges?
And don't worry, fellas: we haven't forgotten about you ;)
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.