Sandy Paws Pet Grooming Shop is located behind an animal clinic, meaning her aesthetically tortured dogs might be able to sneak a longing glance at kennel-incarcerated mutts awaiting euthanasia. Her prize poodle Cindy, subjected to such atrocious indignities as the "Cock a Poodle Doo" and the "Ninja Turtle Leonardoodle," looks pleadingly at the world with hauntingly deadened eyes. She exhibits the petrified demeanor of a living creature encased inside a graffiti-vandalized statue, limbs immobilized by a restrictive concrete outline. Perhaps because she's constantly sedated from inhaling Manic Panic fumes or sniffing the glue that's slathered over her fur, Cindy has yet to maul her oppressor, but when the canine revolution comes, Sandy Paws will not be spared.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.