Sandy Paws Pet Grooming Shop is located behind an animal clinic, meaning her aesthetically tortured dogs might be able to sneak a longing glance at kennel-incarcerated mutts awaiting euthanasia. Her prize poodle Cindy, subjected to such atrocious indignities as the "Cock a Poodle Doo" and the "Ninja Turtle Leonardoodle," looks pleadingly at the world with hauntingly deadened eyes. She exhibits the petrified demeanor of a living creature encased inside a graffiti-vandalized statue, limbs immobilized by a restrictive concrete outline. Perhaps because she's constantly sedated from inhaling Manic Panic fumes or sniffing the glue that's slathered over her fur, Cindy has yet to maul her oppressor, but when the canine revolution comes, Sandy Paws will not be spared.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.