Sandy Paws Pet Grooming Shop is located behind an animal clinic, meaning her aesthetically tortured dogs might be able to sneak a longing glance at kennel-incarcerated mutts awaiting euthanasia. Her prize poodle Cindy, subjected to such atrocious indignities as the "Cock a Poodle Doo" and the "Ninja Turtle Leonardoodle," looks pleadingly at the world with hauntingly deadened eyes. She exhibits the petrified demeanor of a living creature encased inside a graffiti-vandalized statue, limbs immobilized by a restrictive concrete outline. Perhaps because she's constantly sedated from inhaling Manic Panic fumes or sniffing the glue that's slathered over her fur, Cindy has yet to maul her oppressor, but when the canine revolution comes, Sandy Paws will not be spared.
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.