The creators of Celebrity Apes pledge to morph famous faces until they become human-simian hybrids. It's a simple, if uninteresting, premise, but Celebrity Apes bungles every aspect of the execution, warping pictures in Photoshop's funhouse mirrors until they look less like chimps and more like plastic surgery disasters or decaying-flesh death masks. The only celebrities who end up looking anything like apes had huge head starts. Celebrity Apes enjoys affixing its clumsy distortions to cleavage-baring actressess, the most disturbing combination of primates and sexuality since 2001's wrong-in-a-million-ways Planet of the Apes remake, in which Marky Mark used his animal-talking skills to seduce a dirty monkey in a Helena Bonham-Carter wig.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.