Unlike most fat women who dress their pets in stupid costumes, Sandy Paws has ascended to celebrity status, at least within her appalling subculture. Her Web site contained two ludicrous "Groomer to Groomer" covers, which I initially dismissed as make-your-own-magazine fabrications. Unfortunately, it turns out that Groomer to Groomer actually exists, luring professional dog trimmers and poodle-humiliation fetishists alike with an unbelievable array of bad-idea imagery. The fart-filled "Groomer Humor" section of the message board should provide hilarity for people who are both a) employed in the animal beautification industry b) retarded.
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.