Remember Worm Miller's front-page story "Superman is a Tool"? Read it if you haven't, it rules. Anyway, now it's a five-minute film, posted on Funny or Die and still very much alive. You'll notice it's now called "Superman is a Pussy," but Worm assured me it's not a brazen knock-off; in fact, he wrote and directed the adaptation himself. Check it out!
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.