Remember Worm Miller's front-page story "Superman is a Tool"? Read it if you haven't, it rules. Anyway, now it's a five-minute film, posted on Funny or Die and still very much alive. You'll notice it's now called "Superman is a Pussy," but Worm assured me it's not a brazen knock-off; in fact, he wrote and directed the adaptation himself. Check it out!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.