It might be a "sacred portal to the feminine temple," but as far as self-contained storage compartments go, the human vagina is no kangaroo pouch. However, self-proclaimed "Art Goddess" Lauren Sinnott corrected nature's flaw with the Velvet Vulva, the perfect handbag for people who've always wanted to cram Renaissance Festival arts and crafts between enormous labia lips. Also, thanks to the Velvet V Toploader, people need no longer blow on NES cartridges before inserting them into a fabric snatch. There's even a Velvet Vulva hat, which combines court-jester fashion with "headfirst immersion into a purple monster's cunt" fantasy. Sinnott uses the dumbfounding slogan "you can never have too many vulvas," but at prices ranging from $165 to $375, it's doubtful that anyone has cultivated an extensive collection of pubic purses, despite the many "sumptuous" models available.
Slash's Velvet ReVulver.
The Polar Bear's Lament.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.