It might be a "sacred portal to the feminine temple," but as far as self-contained storage compartments go, the human vagina is no kangaroo pouch. However, self-proclaimed "Art Goddess" Lauren Sinnott corrected nature's flaw with the Velvet Vulva, the perfect handbag for people who've always wanted to cram Renaissance Festival arts and crafts between enormous labia lips. Also, thanks to the Velvet V Toploader, people need no longer blow on NES cartridges before inserting them into a fabric snatch. There's even a Velvet Vulva hat, which combines court-jester fashion with "headfirst immersion into a purple monster's cunt" fantasy. Sinnott uses the dumbfounding slogan "you can never have too many vulvas," but at prices ranging from $165 to $375, it's doubtful that anyone has cultivated an extensive collection of pubic purses, despite the many "sumptuous" models available.
Slash's Velvet ReVulver.
The Polar Bear's Lament.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.