No longer must the cretins who fuck inanimate objects waste their worthless breaths on inflatable women. For a mere $7,500, mannequin caressers can have their way with silicone-crafted females, courtesy of Boy Toy Dolls. These replicants were "inspired by comic book and anime art," using "cutting-edge" materials to enable single-player erotic cosplay. The Uncanny Valley theory posits that people get repulsed when human facsimiles look too realistic, but such reactions pale in comparison to the disgust generated by this site's graphic demonstrations of how to clean and replace doll parts. Nothing says "loser-sex afterglow" quite like detaching a revoltingly sullied "removable orifice" from an unfeeling polymeric sculpture's facial frame with rubber gloves and a screwdriver.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.