At this point, it's time to put up or shut up. Phil can insult me. Heck, he can even insult all drummers everywhere, but BY GOD he will NOT insult my Irish roots that I proudly don't give two tugs of my Irish dick about. I hastily record a drum solo - specifically HIS drum solo - and fire it off to him. FOR IRELAND. Surely the BEST DRUMMER IN THE WORLD will recognize his own fucking playing and call me on my bullshit, right?
Hahaha, yeah right. Phil responds as predictably as death and taxes.
I make like Ashton Kutcher and inform Phil that he just got BRAINDEAD PUNK'D.
For those keeping track, we just went from 0 to Mob-Related Death Threats in 50 minutes.
PLAYER 1 NEW HIGH SCORE
ENTER INITIALS >C U M
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!