I've seen some crazy shit in my day, but this may seriously be the craziest. As many of you will recall, Michael Richards, whom I'd previously thought died sometime in the mid-90's, went on a racist tirade a few months ago that landed him in hot water with various African American groups. Michael appeared in a taped segment on the David Letterman show shortly thereafter saying that he wasn't a racist and appologizing. While most of America accepted, one man did not. "Who?", you may ask? Jesse Jackson? Al Sharpton? Wrong! Former WWF wrestler The Iron Sheik!
#1 GrandpaIn this video, a possibly drunk Iron Sheik informs Michael Richards that he felt his appology was insincere and that he did something that a mere taped segment on a late night talk show couldn't fix. After all, Richards had insulted all people of African descent, and shouldn't be let off the hook so easily.
Or that's what I'm assuming he said, because you see, the years of getting dropped on his head and railing vicodin to combat the pain of getting dropped on his head has taken it's toll on the Sheik. What he actually says is more like:
"KRAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! CHOO DID VEDDY BAD THING WHEN YOU INSULT MY MOOOSLEEEEEEM AUFRICAN AMERRRRRICAN BROHTHARS! YOU INSULT MOHAMMED ALI BLACKEST AFFFRIIICAN AMARICON BROOTHAR OF THEM ALL! KRAMEEEEEEEEEEER I ONCE HAVE RESPECT FOR YOU AND JERRY SPRINGER SEINFELD AND NOOOOOMAN BUT KRAAAMEEER YOU ARE A JABRONI SON OF BITCH! DAHVEEED LAATERMAN I HAVE WORDS WITH YOU KRAAMMERRRRR I WILL PUT YOU IN THA CAHMEEL CLUTCH, BREAK JUR BACK, FOCK JOUR ASS AND MAKE YOU HOOMBALL!"
The Sheik shows us some of the men he's made humble.Hilariously enough, this is not the only video of the Iron Sheik going nuts. Oh, no no no, not by a long shot. Whereas his contemperaries Hulk Hogan and Randy "Macho Man" Savage have given up wrestling in the pursuit of reality TV and rapping about how much they hate Hulk Hogan (respectively), the Sheik's post-ring career seems to be dedicated to screaming about how he wants to fuck the asses of everyone who slights him, be it Andre the Giant or the local Dominos delivery boy who was 5 minutes late.
Iron Sheik, we here at AwfulVision™ salute you for fighting the good fight and breaking the backs and fucking the asses of all who stand in your way.
"How can he say he is going to fuck someone in the ass and right after start praying to Allah wtf ?"
"Sheik ain't gay, if you weren't such a prick you would know that the reference to fucking a guy up the ass means that he is overpowering the other other guy and whooping his ass. Wheer do you think the term "Ima fuck you up" came from? What does that mean? It means "Ima beat you up".
So shut the fuck up."
"do you guys have any idea what kind of savage this guy is? I am iranian , this guy is a goldor , these kinda guys go around in Iran just fighting till death over things like a loaf of bread. they are vicious ,I dont even think we can classify them as humans. they just live to fight ,and want to die fighting. If this guy wasnt a pro-wrestler hed be a suicide bomber."
I have raised over $300 participating in quilting bees for the American Quilting Bee Society so I think I deserve at least seven minutes of your time.
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!