Welcome to the inaugural edition of a new feature here at Something Awful™ we call "AwfulVision™"!
Here at AwfulVision™, we are dedicated to bringing you, the viewer, the best Youtube™ experience that money can buy! For too long, the most viewed videos have been those sponsored by big corporations like CBS™, NBC™ and MTV™. Well, no longer!
Using our patented Web 3.9™ technology, which our scientists have assured us is at least 1.9 better than the our previous Web 2.0™ technology, we can finally give these overlooked videos the attention they deserve! All of our videos are hand-picked from the finest Youtube™ search queries and are delivered to you piping hot and fully optimized with our Net-Aperture-Pipeline™ (NAP™) technology.
What does this mean for you? Why, just take a look at some of our exclusive Web 3.9™ features that can only be found here at Something Awful™'s AwfulVision™!
Surely, with all these features, you'd expect to pay nearly $79.95! But wait! There is more!
Using our exclusive Web 3.9™ technology, we are also capable of not only accepting 3rd party submissions for videos but also writing reviews for them! How "hip" is that?!
What monumental sum do we ask for this miraculous service? The price may surprise you! I know it surprised me! Yes, friends, for the low, low price of FREE* you will be able to sift through these forgotten videos the way nature intended.
The future truly is NOW.
Now, head on over to page 2™ using our patent pending Next Page Button™ and let's get this show on the road!
*until further notice
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!