Congratulations, you've won a one way trip to reality! Yes, you and a guest will spend the rest of your life secure in the knowledge that, no matter what you do or how bad life seems to be, at least you won't be part of a group that glorifies stupidity, trashiness, and terrible taste in music.
But that's not all! You've also won the self respect to act like an adult instead of forever deifying Faygo soda and ninjas. No longer will you feel the need to include "clown", "lotus", "juggalo", "juggalette", "wicked", "wikked, "wikkid", "wikkit", or "420" in your online identity! Not only that, but you won't feel the animalistic urge to draw axes, pot leaves, and ICP art on every peice of paper within a 50 mile radius!ICLondon, ICFrance
The total combined value of your prize package is...... priceless! Yes, priceless! The joy and relief you feel when you realize you don't know a single ICP lyric and don't paint your face like a clown can't be bought for any price! No amount of money can buy you the sense of smug self-satisfaction that comes from realizing that the girls in these videos quite possibly sucked dick for concert tickets.
Congratulations, AwfulVision reader! You are the grand prize winner at Life!
This is your host Seth Bailey reminding you to please have your pets spayed or neutered. Oh, also if you'd like to submit a video, you can do that right here with this link. And remember to join our YouTube channel here! On the channel, you can find (as soon as we get them uploaded) all the videos from AwfulVision.
A special "shout out" to the over 100 subscribers we already have. Thanks for making us one of the fastest growing channels on YouTube! And as always, an extra special shout out to Billiam, Abraham, High Fives a Titty, Lowtax, Petey, the rest of my BYOBuddies, and all of you that emailed me submissions. I couldn't do this without you so THANKS ALOT FOR MAKING ME WATCH TERRIBLE VIDEOS, ASSHOLES.
Guests on AwfulVision fly Delta Airlines. Delta Airlines - Delta gets you there. No Juggalos were harmed during the filming of this episode. If you or a friend would like to appear on AwfulVision, please send a self-addressed stamped envelope to "AwfulVision" c/o Something Awful.com LLC.
"fuck yeah every single one of yall are fresh as fuck... fuck everybody that doubts yall... send them my why ill take an axe to their forhead and show them a real JUGGALOTUS!!!!!!"
"hell ya no doubt u girls did it right fuck those non juggalos they dont know wut the fuck there are sayin to fat or to skinny fuck that it dont matter juggalettes are hella bomb just cuz they down with the clown "
"dude, I agree, I can't beleive that a juggalo would say a let is to skinny, you ain't no juggalo who hates on a chick for bein fat. "
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!