Heh. Heh. I am made of wood. Heh. Heh. Heh.Here we have a video from god knows when (I'm assuming the late 90's since Finland was still mastering fire and the wheel in the late 70's) of Finnish artist "Gregorius". performing, you guessed it, YMCA. The only problem is that apparently Finland uses a different alphabet, and the result is NMKY (which I'm guessing stands for Not My Kinda Youtube which actually describes approximately 100% of the videos I've reviewed over the last few months).
Okay, let's just pause here for a second and reflect on this video. If you're a Finnish artist, why oh WHY would you, out of the literally MILLIONS of songs that exist, pick like one of the 5 that depend solely on the English alphabet? Seriously, Gregorius" could have done any song in the history of human music except YMCA, Respect by Aretha Franklin, I Stand Accused by Elvis Costello, Velouria by The Pixies and some stupid Magnetic Fields song no one has actually ever listened to.
So, of course he chose YMCA. Also, bear in mind that only 2 of those songs were actually in existence when this video was shot. The kind of stupidity we're dealing with here is fucking staggering.Damn it, Gregorius... why won't you love me???
And that's actually not even the half of it. Gregorius and his dancers actually manage to make a Village People song, well, "gay". I honestly wasn't aware that it was possible, but this video has the 2-sizes-too-small track shorts to prove it. Before this video, I was a normal heterosexual male that liked steaks, fast cars, and unfulfilling missionary sex. This video is so gay though that, apparently at some point during watching it, I blacked out, ordered 500 dollars worth of showtune cds from Amazon.com and either sloppily ate a box full of glazed donuts or.........
GOD DAMN IT, GREGORIUS!
" Backup dancers FTW!"
" The backup dancers truly make this video."
"Fabulous! Simply fabulous! Hehe, we don't get hot bois like this in America! ;-D"
GOD DAMN IT GREGORIUS!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!