After a hard day at work copying a bunch of images from an internet forum and passing articles like this off as my own doing, I like to kick back and enjoy a cool alcoholic drink. That's why I was keen to get some advice from few devoted kegmeisters known as the forum goons. Could they devise a drink masculine enough to help banish any unwanted desires I have to drink cocktails with little parasols? Of course not, they just wanted an excuse to pile as much crap in a glass as possible.
The first cocktail on offer came from Dubious Merit.
Memories of Scouting
2 oz. maple syrup (or maple-flavored breakfast syrup)
1/2 oz. Godiva brand milk chocolate liqueur
Generous amount of pumpkin ice cream
1/4 oz. Liquid Smoke
Drink very quickly, before you can think better of it.
The mitigating sweetness of the maple and the pumpkin long past, the campfire notes of the Liquid Smoke still pervade my senses. I cannot foresee a time when my world does not taste like bacon, although I am capable once more of breathing.
If that wasn't frightening enough, THE_Chris decided to take things to the next level with this refreshing beverage.
1x shot of Pina Colada
1x splash of Coca Cola (old, flat coke)
1/2x splash of luxury Strawberry Milkshake
Fill glass with orange juice
1x Ice cube
It was a genuinely confusing drink because it wasn't bad!
The flavor changed completely as it went down - sharp orange juice and Pina Colada at the top, then the Coke taste took over, then slightly alcoholic milkshake to finish off. I've never drunk anything that changed flavor like that.
Strange as I may sound, I'm making this again sometime.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.