When I lived in Alaska, I worked for a bank. I would often get tourists asking me, in all earnestness, if we took 'American money'.
Now I wish I would have exchanged their cash for the nuts and bark they so obviously were expecting.
I'm an American living in Edinburgh, and I never run out of reasons to be ashamed of where I'm from. Keep in mind, Edinburgh is a city one of the UK's largest castles right in the middle of it. I once witnessed an American lady point at the castle and ask if they took it down when the festival season was over.
Overheard around Niagara Falls:
"Do they turn off the Falls at night?"
"Belgium, hmm, that's a city in Brussels, right?"
By a GERMAN tourist, somewhere in France.
A friend of a friend working at a Viking museum in Oslo, Norway was approached by a fat old American woman, who wondered if Norwegians had as much trouble with the Vikings as they did back home with the Indians.
"Do you accept American dollars here?"
Said by an American middle aged woman in a store in Old Town, Stockholm.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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