Make an attempt at human nonchalance. We reccommend pursing your lips and forcing air between them, as the resulting sound will cause humans to ignore your actions.
I am unable to keep up this sound for very long.
To avoid human contact, search lower human armor for rectangular object known to the humans as iPod. Put strange buds into your ear and activate it. Doing so will effectively render you invisble to other humans, that or it allows you to ignore them. We know not which.
"iPod" not found.
Escape down the street and sing a jaunty Xxanthian tune. QUIETLY.
Xxanthians, Xxanthians, Xxanthians are we.
We'll crush your world, it will cease to be!
Is that another Xxanthian? You won't know if you don't ask!
The human does not respond to my question. It asks for "spare change".
Bring the body of the other human, as a gift to this human. Surely this gift will flatter him, and he will become your guide through this foreign world.
The human seems pleased.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.