Make an attempt at human nonchalance. We reccommend pursing your lips and forcing air between them, as the resulting sound will cause humans to ignore your actions.
I am unable to keep up this sound for very long.
To avoid human contact, search lower human armor for rectangular object known to the humans as iPod. Put strange buds into your ear and activate it. Doing so will effectively render you invisble to other humans, that or it allows you to ignore them. We know not which.
"iPod" not found.
Escape down the street and sing a jaunty Xxanthian tune. QUIETLY.
Xxanthians, Xxanthians, Xxanthians are we.
We'll crush your world, it will cease to be!
Is that another Xxanthian? You won't know if you don't ask!
The human does not respond to my question. It asks for "spare change".
Bring the body of the other human, as a gift to this human. Surely this gift will flatter him, and he will become your guide through this foreign world.
The human seems pleased.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.