Make an attempt at human nonchalance. We reccommend pursing your lips and forcing air between them, as the resulting sound will cause humans to ignore your actions.
I am unable to keep up this sound for very long.
To avoid human contact, search lower human armor for rectangular object known to the humans as iPod. Put strange buds into your ear and activate it. Doing so will effectively render you invisble to other humans, that or it allows you to ignore them. We know not which.
"iPod" not found.
Escape down the street and sing a jaunty Xxanthian tune. QUIETLY.
Xxanthians, Xxanthians, Xxanthians are we.
We'll crush your world, it will cease to be!
Is that another Xxanthian? You won't know if you don't ask!
The human does not respond to my question. It asks for "spare change".
Bring the body of the other human, as a gift to this human. Surely this gift will flatter him, and he will become your guide through this foreign world.
The human seems pleased.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.