Flattery is your only way out of this. "Nice ass", and quickly.
You might want to arm yourself at the same time though, just in case.
Careful. Research shows that this human is in possession of a "brief case," a storage device that can easily be converted into a weapon.
Human has fled while shouting "monster". It has dropped a "brief case".
The human club is quite powerful.
Well done, disarm your weapon again and pick up this..."brief case" its contents may help you later.
"Brief case" obtained.
Warning! Large metallic vehicle has approached and opened its doors. I am going inside.
I have entered the large metallic vehicle and it is moving at a high rate of speed in the direction of "downtown".
Perform a dance on the pole.
take that communication device from the human and use it to contact microsoft.
"Come in Microsoft."
"Jerry? Is that you?"
How do I reply?
The valor pigs have been looking over your uniform and trying to find fault. Time to show them how army is done!
Video games make it socially acceptable to point at Jane
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.