Having a child isn't all fun times and witty quips, like the movie Juno. In reality, it's a lengthy process filled with pain and suffering, like watching the movie Juno. After the kid pops out, your life will never be the same again. What do the forum goons fear most about one day raising an offspring of their own? For most of them it won't matter since no one of the opposite sex can stand to look at them, let alone hold a desire to procreate with them, but for kicks' sake let's check out the inevitable horrors that come from raising a child.
Let's get things underway with burexas.irom and his hatred of flags displaying the letter Y.
Canis Ex Machina fears the day that his offspring will ignore the sage advice of the one they call "Ebert".
If you play Corridor's contribution backwards you get a Slimfast commercial.
Two things drive Cosima up the wall; crying babies and coloring in the bottom right hand side of pictures.
Don't worry, Kamoc. Things won't be so bad. Your kid will be incredibly popular at parties when everyone finds out they can store chips in his head like a bowl.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.