I love my balls but they can lead to some embarrassing situations with my other sidekick - dog.

(achievement unlocked)

After getting rid of the dog (named Digger, of all the Godly names), we were free to get back to our mission, but instead I started getting really into Evelyn for some reason:

...I felt a shadow overwhelm me...

...and I was feverish and I didn't feel so good.

In-between those purely platonic outbursts of the crazy love affair I had with Evelyn in my head we somehow put the slim Nazi Pitbull behind bars. I don't remember any of it.

Then, when the sun was setting and the credits were about to roll (in my head), I asked Evelyn the question that I'm sure every cool guy conquers his future girlfriend wife with:


Thanks to Palpek for the write-up! You can e-mail him to suggest games for future installments!

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.