Vermin Supreme

Debates are only fun to watch on television when there's a crazy, philosophically retarded non-charismatic parody candidate who has absolutely no chance of winning a nomination. The Republicans have Ron Paul, but for some reason Hillary refuses break the fourth wall and allow America to acknowledge her as a malevolent caricature of what's wrong with the Democratic party. Kuinich isn't crazy enough to make national television, let alone an argument that could persuade his own family to think he has a shot at the title. We need a liberal candidate who's totally off his fucking rocker; an advocate of Big Government who refuses to shave; a leader that can lead America into the next Waco compound of 2009.

My fellow Americans, I give you Vermin Supreme. A politician with years of psychotic hobo experience, who can reach across party lines to deck a guy for looking the wrong way. Someone who isn't afraid to take bribes, corporate handouts, or whatever prescription medication he might find in the White House trash cans. The United States needs another retarded motherfucker that totally lacks experience and vision in the electoral race, but more importantly America needs to be entertained. We've still got an entire year of boring campaigning, lame ass mudslinging thats less effect than a random derogatory youtube comment, and I don't think that's what our country needs. What our country needs is someone who has a plan for Dental Hygiene on the national stage, telling Obama and Edwards about the ghosts that tell us what to do while we are asleep.