As of today, I will no longer be a regular writer for the front page. The board of directors have decided in all their wisdom that my contribution to the site would be better served "on the streets", rapping with the kids about gang violence, and saving small towns from rambunctious motorcycle gangs, rather than sitting around the home office and causing a mess in the break room.
Thus I am hitting the road in 2006 as a representative of SA on a grassroots program to spread democracy and get into all kinds of crazy adventures, like Renegade. Every month I will be doing one front page feature, reporting on the progress being made by my travels across this great nation. Our mission is to heal this country during this time of economic struggle and foreign wars with the power of laughter and fart jokes.
I won't let my fans and the good people of America down! God bless.
A special thanks to Humanity for his patriotic artistic skills.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!