As of today, I will no longer be a regular writer for the front page. The board of directors have decided in all their wisdom that my contribution to the site would be better served "on the streets", rapping with the kids about gang violence, and saving small towns from rambunctious motorcycle gangs, rather than sitting around the home office and causing a mess in the break room.
Thus I am hitting the road in 2006 as a representative of SA on a grassroots program to spread democracy and get into all kinds of crazy adventures, like Renegade. Every month I will be doing one front page feature, reporting on the progress being made by my travels across this great nation. Our mission is to heal this country during this time of economic struggle and foreign wars with the power of laughter and fart jokes.
I won't let my fans and the good people of America down! God bless.
A special thanks to Humanity for his patriotic artistic skills.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!