Psionic Alpha, submitted by JJ. Let's see here... Linux nerd? Check. Lives in a house that was decorated by his grandma? Check. Drives a shitbag Camaro? Check. Is 6'4" and weighs over 260 lbs? Check. Is a systems administrator? Check. What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is the nerdy stereotype upon which all nerdy stereotypes were forged from. "Psionic Alpha" likes to explain the following life-changing outlooks which will revolutionize your entire world in less than one easy-to-bake step!

Linux is the Truth, as far as computers are concerned.
Microsoft, is the lie.
Tux rocks your world.
SecurityFocus is a good place to go to find out about computer security issues.

Oh, here's a little bit from his "Poetry Page":

#include < l.h >
#include < h.h >
#include < d.h >
#include < p.h >
#inclide < t.h >
#include < m.h >

void d_e(int per, char **f) {
int x; //Generic
for(x=0;x<=f;x++) f[x]=0;
}

void rel(void) {
int M, T;
T=M;
M=T;
T=M;
M=T;
}

void c_e(int x, int y) {
if(x==M) Y=y/2;
}

void main(void) {
int T, P, M;
char l[100];
if(T=exists("T.HUM")) strset(l,100);
rel();
d_e(T,l);
P=10000;
c_e(M,P);
}

Ohhhhh boy. If this guy had any more geek crammed into his bloated, lifeless carcass, he'd be shitting out penguins every hour. Ugh.

- Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)