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Bruno Powrozni's Real Estate Tips (Thanks, Y-Hat!)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 Update by Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

Bruno Powrozni's Web site, on which he boldly prophesies that "House Prices Will Never Crash," brings to mind Disco Stu's line graph indicating disco record sales were up 400 percent for the year ending 1976 ("If these trends continue...ayyyyy!") Like Stu, Bruno's frozen in the past: His rainbow-colored rants haven't been modified since June 7, 2006. (However, the site remains futuristic due to its random inclusion of the 2026 calendar.) In addition to scathing attacks on STRs (market speculators who sold to rent), Powrozni's deranged cavalcade contains a parade of pixelated houses that look ready to be zapped by an early-'90s arcade light gun, an epileptogenic array of flashing GIFs, and hacky analogies illustrated with launching-rocket stock imagery.

If Bruno wanted to take the complete opposite stance to reflect the mortgage crisis, he could always resurrect his earlier page, in which he warned homeowners to "prepare for total economic apocalypse." Whether playing the rabid bear or the raging bull, Powrozni stays true to one guiding principle: Hideous design that makes all his dire warnings, manic encouragements and incomprehensible proclamations even more painful to read.

- Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller