Most of you have probably seen the above advertisement in Game Informer, Spin or other magazines. It's an example of how even ads from computer-oriented companies can be pathetically out of touch, largely because they're written by marketing doofs rather than programmers. The contemptible use of "lulz," the hackneyed child actor analogy -- the text strains so hard it should be framed in stretch marks. Also, given that "CyberS1ren" actively engages in hacking, she's not exactly a "hacker groupie," in much the same way that Hackers star Angelina Jolie isn't an "actor groupie" just because she's fucking Brad Pitt. But these are relatively minor offenses. The real lameness begins with a visit to hugsforhackers.org, the Web address lurking above the cheesy "Snoop" graffiti.
The site introduces a parade of absurd caricatures: Delusional martial-arts enthusiast Samura1; devil-horns-flashing brat Worm13; l33tspeak babbler OverRide; confusing biker hippie Exodus; and CyberS1ren herself, who looks like Jamie Lee Curtis in gothed-out teen attire (Freaky Friday 2: Black Friday). Each unconvincing creation maintains a journal, written in cluelessly co-opted slang. As usual on unfunny parody sites, the only amusement comes from comment-leaving visitors who don't quite get the gag.
In off-site reaction news, real hackers apparently don't appreciate being depicted as Matrix-obsessed in 2008.
And finally, back on Hugs for Hackers, no inept net-culture farce would be complete without a Lolcats joke.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.