The Velvet Vulva (Thanks, Kitty Boots!)
It might be a "sacred portal to the feminine temple," but as far as self-contained storage compartments go, the human vagina is no kangaroo pouch. However, self-proclaimed "Art Goddess" Lauren Sinnott corrected nature's flaw with the Velvet Vulva, the perfect handbag for people who've always wanted to cram Renaissance Festival arts and crafts between enormous labia lips. Also, thanks to the Velvet V Toploader, people need no longer blow on NES cartridges before inserting them into a fabric snatch. There's even a Velvet Vulva hat, which combines court-jester fashion with "headfirst immersion into a purple monster's cunt" fantasy. Sinnott uses the dumbfounding slogan "you can never have too many vulvas," but at prices ranging from $165 to $375, it's doubtful that anyone has cultivated an extensive collection of pubic purses, despite the many "sumptuous" models available.
The Goomba.
Slash's Velvet ReVulver.
The Polar Bear's Lament.
This Week on Something Awful...
-
Movies That Show Their Age!
Photoshop Phriday
The SA forum goons subject films to the relentless, unstoppable, cruel savagery of time.
-
Stuff You Will Hate II: Unholy Creations
Garbage Day
I send Sgt. D the kind of shit that makes him mad, and he sends back -- whatever, I hate everything.
-
Warhamer 40,000: Rogue Trader (part two)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack subject themselves to the second half of Warhammer 40,000's Rogue Trader.
-
I Ate A Luna Bar And My Dick Fell Off!
AwfulVision
Pillow fartin', totally reasonable Republicans and CLOWNCORE MOTHERFUCKER *honk honk*
Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.
