Zack: Hey, look, he dropped his beard on the way to the fashion show.
Dr. Thorpe: Looks like Fabio's about to drop something in his hand, maybe it's a Beard-Gro pellet.
Zack: I don't think he has a hand. That scarf is hiding a hook. A vicious croc took his hand and beard.
Dr. Thorpe: That's not a scarf, that's a Martha Stewart Living curtain. But I agree you don't need two hands in the modeling business if what you're modeling is suits made of Astroturf.
Zack: Is he wearing a line of eye makeup? He looks like Adam Ant.
Dr. Thorpe: Either eye makeup or he's just been beaten severely by Etro thugs for losing his beard.
Zack: Ey!!!! Yousa gonna remember the beard next time, capiche? Actually Etro thugs are probably rail thin women wearing checkered table cloths and huge Fu Man Chu mustaches.
Dr. Thorpe: Which is even scarier. You know, come to think of it, he does look very much like Adam Ant with a fluffier haircut and without a Drum Major suit. Remember how Adam and the Ants had like three drummers? I bet they were always getting into disputes within the band, because the drummers outnumbered him. "Adam, I really think we should go in a more drum-oriented direction." And their votes always outweighed his. So, the moral is, he eventually turned into a fashion model for clothing designed by lunatics.
Zack: And they turned into the world's first successful all drum Adam Ant coverband. Wait a second, are Adam Ant and Fabio holding hands?
Dr. Thorpe: Zack, let's not take this in a "gay" direction, because from the look of it, those two are all man. We'd just be grasping at straws if we tried to make cracks about their masculinity.
Zack: I wasn't taking it in a gay direction. That would be preposterous. Homosexuals?! In the fashion industry?! No, I was thinking that it was a showing of beardless solidarity. "Stay alive, no matter what beards occur. I will find you!"