Retro SWAT
Dr. Thorpe: The beauty of practically anything relating to popular culture is that it looks absolutely stupid in thirty or forty years. The cases you're about to see, though, were probably stupid to begin with. Their ridiculousness has only been compounded by time.
Zack: It's important to keep in mind that high fashion always attempts to walk the fine line between silly and suave, usually ending up well in the silly territory. However, in the case of these advertisements from old British magazines we're talking about regular fashion. Commercial fashion. There's just no excusing this crap.
Zack: When in a vague suggestion of Rome do as the Romans and wear giant Aztec belt buckles.
Dr. Thorpe: This photo shows Don Johnson and his prized magical belt buckle. And his stoic gentleman-friend who shall soon find the true magic beneath it.
Zack: Yeah, the guy on the right desperately needs a cane. Maybe the kind with a naked woman rendered in pure silver on top.
Dr. Thorpe: Those haircuts are a thing of marvel. Do you ever look at ruins of Greek architecture and think "man could never do that now?" Well, those haircuts give me that same feeling.
Zack: Oh, I think we have the technology for those haircuts still. We just use it more responsibly in the aftermath of Chernobyl.
Dr. Thorpe: It's sort of cute how they try to look like badasses while dressed like white versions of Shaft.
Zack: What about the belt buckle with the sweater? Who wears a goddamn belt buckle with a sweater? Some sort of 1960's detective from the Deep South. Cletus Mandrake, PI.
Dr. Thorpe: That statue in the background looks embarrassed to be there, frankly.
Zack: The text at the bottom confuses me. I think it's "MAN AT C&A" but the lack of spacing keeps making me think "MANATCA!" which seems a fitting quasi-word for this image.
Dr. Thorpe: Notice how you can't see where the guy on the right's hand is. And now, having seen that, the tall one's expression takes on a new significance: "Yeah, Zack? What are you going to do about it?"
Zack: "Nothing, bold warrior king MANATCA! I tremble in your presence!"
Dr. Thorpe: "Does this offend your futuristic American conservative morals? Well, eat belt buckle, sorcerer!"
Zack: I am a Connecticut Yankee in King MANATCA's court.
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