The St. Louis Punk Page: yellowcard rox's profile, submitted by Hohomanomo. For reasons other than the hormonal tidal wave of puberty I pity thirteen year old boys. Chief among these reasons is the existence of "yellowcard rox", a crazed, babbling, and gleefully prolific sub-simian of a teenage girl who has turned her profile on "The St. Louis Punk Page" into a garish advertisement for self-castration. Believe me when I say you'll want to take that last step to ensuring even you don't reproduce if it takes doing the job with a soup ladel.



$WIggERz ( y cant they b glad 4 who god made them and the fact that they r white???? they shouldnt want 2 b black!)
$WHen I 4Get WHat ELse I H8!!!!!

The site is filled to the brim with alt-caps text, bright colors, and thousands of those goddamn Live Journal quizzes where you find out what type of infectious disease you are or what character from hit sitcom "Wings" you most resemble (Antonio). Probably my favorite among the nauseating quiz results is the one where yellow rox discovered she has several severe mental disorders and her response was "O my wowzers..........". "O my wowzers" indeed dearest yellow rox.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.