Science Fair SWAT
Zack: "I'm so wasted I'm not even taking my coat off. Just get this judging over with so I can get back to watching reruns of Gumby"
Dr. Thorpe: You're all about the obscure cartoon references tonight. Is all this looking at 13-year-olds turning you into a chickenhawk? "Hmm, maybe if I impress them with some Gumby references they'll let me take them out for a little 'ice cream social.'"
Zack: Close, it's actually because I spent my entire failed college career watching Gumby reruns and eating Sun Chips. Did you know you can sell a 500 dollar meal card for three pounds of weed?
Dr. Thorpe: Okay, but as long as we're talking about this, you might as well admit that "Spurt" got your feathers a little ruffled.
Zack: Spurt was intended to ruffle feathers. Those girls knew exactly what they were doing to me. They were asking for it.
Dr. Thorpe: No jury in the world would convict you.
Zack: Well, when they say "of your peers" they mean other pederasts, right?
Dr. Thorpe: We can only hope so. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Hypothesis: It's really hard to score weed when you haven't got a car and you're 13.
Zack: Procedure: smokin' what I can find in my mom's pantry.
Conclusion: Nutmeg will f*ck your @55 up
Dr. Thorpe: Conclusion: Turned out to be bay leaves, but I got some from my older brother for my old Nintendo 64, but he mostly gave me seeds and stems so I told my mom about his porn stash.